lopser, Hi and welcome on board

I do not really understand the first part, you mean that scouting events happen for both players? thus your hero is revealed? A better description or a save could help here. To be honest the mod is not good tested on network play.

As for the second part. No one really plays without Earth Magic, the points are designed in a way that it is possible to pick 2 class foreign skills and you will most likely still become a grandmaster. There are also artifacts that grant a few class points. If that isn't enough you can select the "Easy Class" option at map start. That will make it easier to reach a certain class. There's also an "Class Calculator excel sheet" in the help folder.
The idea of the mod is that you should not cherry pick only the best secondary skills, by doing that you will get a reward in the form of your class that unlocks bonus and higher secondary skill levels.